Simple Roasted Chicken

Why use a recipe? You want a roasted chicken and you want it today. No problem.

Take some butter out of the fridge and let it soften to room temperature. Cheat with the microwave if you have to.

Chop up a whole mess of root vegetables so they're roughly the same size. Potatoes, squash, onions, carrots, yams, etc. Sprinkle them with salt, pepper, rosemary, and olive oil. Toss them around, then into a roasting pan.

Cut a lemon into quarters and shove some lemon inside the chicken, along with whatever else you have. A piece of onion, a chunk of orange, more rosemary, a sprig of thyme, whatever. Rub the chicken all over with the soft butter. Toss some salt and pepper all over it. Lay it on the vegetables. Roast for an hour at 400 F then test either with internal temperature (170-180 F), juices running clear, or wiggling a leg (the chicken's, not yours) to see if it's loose. Everyone seems to have a technique. Don't worry, chances are you won't poison yourself. Enjoy.